Dafter's post reminded me of this, the 'London Cabbie's Prayer', taught to me by my great uncle who was a Music Hall artiste and minor film and tv star.
Dafter's post included a caveat apologising to people who might be offended. Let's make it clear that if you are offended by this post I don't actually care. If your god is too small minded to have a sense of humour then quite frankly he shouldn't be godding in my opinion. So if you think you might be even just a tad offended then DON'T READ IT. If you do read it and you are offended then please note I do not want to hear about it 
Our father
who art in Hendon
Harlow be thy name
thy Kingston come
thy Wimbledon in Erith as it is in Hendon
Give us today our daily Brent
and forgive us our Westminsters
as we forgive those who Westminster against us
and lead us not into Thames Ditton
but deliver us from Ewell
For thine is the Kingston, the Purley and the Crawley
For Iver and Iver
Crouch End
People need to chill out and not get offended so easily.